With courses in the UK closed during this cold snap there are few options open. Either taking on Tiger Woods on the playstation, or hitting a bucket of stones if one can find a driving range open, are two of the options. Best option is clearly booking a flight (on Virgin Atlantic obviously) to escape to somewhere warmer. As an alternative to pass some time, please reply with your best golfing joke, to put a smile (even if a wry smile) on people faces as they look longingly out of the clubhouse window. The best one I've heard is a Willie Nelson (country & western singer) story (allegedly). He owned his own golf course. He said the best thing was that he could decide on the par for each hole. As example he had played the 7th hole the week before, and had struggled scoring 8, but at least he had got his birdie!